How do Narcissists “Trap” you?
Well, there are quite a few ways they get that job done.
Let’s start with the common Manipulation Tactics that Narcissists, Antisocials, and Psychopaths use to weaken our emotions, cognition, and senses in order to get us exactly where they want us to be.
- Gaslighting : Perhaps the most Sadistic form of emotional abuse there is. This is where the Abuser tricks and manipulates and twists facts repeatedly so that the victim distrusts his or her own memory, perception, and intuition.
- Scapegoating : The abuser assigns blame to the Victim so that he or she takes the fall for something the abuser has done or said.
- Divide and Conquer : Where the Abuser will take certain pieces of a situation, and certain people connected to the Abuser and the Victim, and separate them from the Victim in order to gain power against the Victim. It is an old war and politics strategy, where things and people are taken onto one side to make it impossible for the opposing side (or victim), to have any power or strategy. For example… the Abuser will gather people on your side, or people who do not have enough solid information, and manipulate them and get them onto their side, so that The Abuser and now the people who they have taken from your circle, can now go against you and whatever word you have against The Abuser, and you aren’t able to fight much. It it a strategy used to gain power and break the Victim down enough to where the Victim feels beaten down and feels “join them or beat them.”
- Playing the Victim : This one is pretty self-explanatory. The Abuser comes up with whatever black mail, lies/stories, or anything else that they possibly can, in order to make the actual Victim look like they are doing all of those things the Abuser is actually doing, and to make themselves look like the “real Victim”.
- Vilifying True Victims: The Abuser mimics everything the actual Victim is doing, in order to confuse others on the outside or concerned parties, and making them confused on which person is actually the Victim and which one is actually the Abuser. The Abuser masks their malignant tactics and behavior and plays innocent and throws the most sadistic pity party you’ll ever see. Leaving others confused as hell, wondering which one is full of shit and which is not. Further making it harder for the actual Victim to prove what is being done by the Abuser.
- The Smear Campaign : The ultimate betrayal. The most evil tactic used to silence you. The Abuser uses gossip, lies, slander, black mail, in order to discredit you, isolate you, instill fear, hurt you and label you as inferior. It’s like a form of intimidation and bullying to prevent you from speaking the truth about the Abuser, and they do this because they know you see through them, and they don’t want to be found out.
- The Silent Treatment : Emotionally abusive tactic used to punish the Victim, Hoover the Victim into giving the Abuser something he or she wants, to place the Abuser in a position of power and control, to make the Abuser avoid any responsibility/conflict/compromise/resolution, and to completely silence the Victims attempts at speaking truth or doing anything against what the Abuser wants to be done. When the Abuser uses this tactic, it is always to gain something from the Victim that the Abuser is wanting, and they stay silent until they get it.
- Forgive and Forget : The Abuser loves to use this one when they are feeling any little bit of guilt for being abusive, or they use it when they quickly need to switch to a different abusive tactic without the Victim going against it. They demand that you forgive them and forget what they just did, so they can move onto the next tactic, and they will often times use Biblical commandment or known wording references from the Bible, that you should “forgive your enemies”, for example, to very quickly justify this demand. My Narcissistic mother did this all the time, it was one of her favorites, and she also would do all the things stated above, including when she had to go out in public or be in front of people she was getting to know, so that we would drop our reactions, and she could save some face and put her mask on real quick without anyone catching onto anything. It was disgustingly sick.
- Guilt Trips : They, The Abuser, pull every heart string you, The Victim, have inside of you, and they will use them to make you feel bad for reacting to their abuse all at once. Because no matter what, everything they do is justified. To them, you need to feel bad for reacting to their abuse. It makes them feel no guilt. They place the guilt on you instead. And they will use anything they can to feel bad, including bribery.
The Cycle Of Abuse
- Tensions Building : Tensions increase, breakdown of communication, victim becomes fearful and feels the need to placate the Abuser.
- Incident : Verbal, emotional, psychological, and physical abuse happens. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
- Reconciliation : Abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse ever occurred, or says that it wasn’t as bad as the Victim claims.
- Calm : Incident is “forgotten”, no Abuse is taking place. The “honeymoon” phase.
And then the cycle repeats, over and over and over and over.
Do not let these creatures engage with you. Or trap you. Break the cycle.
You deserve happiness, respect and peace.